Flying Sunflower

" The Lord will make you the head, not the tail ... You will always be at the top, never the bottom. "
- Deut 28:13

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jet 29:11

Amen.

God bless everyone :D

I need to learn how to handle things not with emotions.

I really didnt mean to get angry for such minor reasons and I know I'm just sensitive and petty. If I could continue to act like I dont care, I would, really, but it was occurring to many times and I felt like I was suppressing my feelings for too long.

I will pay back whatever I owe Weiliang, perhaps on Friday, and by then, I'll put everything to an end.

Isnt it ridiculous to try and fit in when you know there's just this thing that is not right? I dont know. It was a wrong step to even start being friends. Wait, are we really friends? My presence doesnt seem a thing huh. Haha it's okay, kan kai dian. One game of basketball and one tube of mentos.

That's it, not going to owe anything.

I should have expected this. I should have.

I've embarrassed myself enough in front of the guys already, they must be thinking, the at first chio girl that we thought she was is actually nothing but ugly and petty bitch. 

I should take the blame and not push it to anyone, face it hazel, you're not likeable. At times like this, you should just shut yourself in one corner and leave the world alone.

Moreover, you were the one who wanted to sit at that corner today isnt it. HAHA.  


 

You know, we had our last day of school last Friday, and only today I felt like I really did do something or put effort into for O's. And I know it's pretty pathetic.

So after Chinese tuition yesterday I was out with Weijie. Then I went home to watch my ShenDiaoXiaLv show :D HAHA later I went out with my parents to eat supper and I finally met Maria at the airport to study. Okay I wont say I did much, but at least I did something, which is so much better than not doing anything the past few days. Bk's hashbrowns are the best :D Yup so we hanged around there till six plus seven then we went home. By the time I reach home it was eight in the morning. My bed was calling out to me so I went and plonk on my bed for two hours before going to Orchard to meet up with Qin to study again.

Who knows when I got there I only finished one chapter of Biology and I fell asleep. Anyway throughout the day with Qin studying, I slept quite a few times, her mom say I keep sleeping never study, Fact is after every one or two chapters I study I need take break mah! If not my brain will be flooded with Bio terms and all and I cannot remember! That place is so damn cold. Left around at five, then I went to hunt for my dinner before heading to Christina's house. Went to her house for more Biology for probably two hours or so, then I went home :D

I'm so tired now and I want to sleep.

Peifen why are you not online I need to do the proposal with you if not you have to do it alone because my laptop's going ot be away for a month! >:( NI ZAI NA LI.

(S) I pray, that your passion for Christ would rekindle and continue burning, that your parents would relent :/ It's never easy. I don't wish to see you give in.

Recently I keep thinking of you 
 & I don't know why.
 

HAHAHA I'm back here posting, I gave in to temptation O:

Anyway nothing much happened recently, life became pretty mundane and this is what I dont like about. Sigh, is everyone feeling the same as me, or is there really somebody out there that really enjoys studying and memorizing things that we might not use when we grow older?

O levels is coming in like ten days AND IM STILL SLACKING HERE.

I think I really need to discipline myself. Pfft.

So on the thirteenth October, it was my Dad's birthday, so was Janeal's birthday, so was Yiying's birthday! YAY. HAHA went out with Janeal, Zoe and Jiayu at Marina square :D OH OH I walked from Orchard to City hall, and then I spent twenty mins walking inside Marina sq. No one would think I could walk so much right! But I didnt like doing it though.

After Seoul Garden we went Kbox, and I became the member :D

Ah yes the cheesecake or whatever cake that is brought my Janeal is so awesomeeee !

Okay I think I need to quickly draft out the proposal for Yppae and so I can happily go exam! HA.

& I'm keeping my laptop away after this week.


Are we really strangers

Sigh I'll live with it.

Is it my fault that I have a low voice?

Damnit.

Is it really my fault, do I even have the choice to choose what kind of pitch I would want to have?

Do you think I'll feel like nothing happened after so many people come to me and say my voice is low? 
How does it feel like when others keep pinpointing it out to you?
Would you be able to understand if I talked about you and your face?
 
It's not like I wanted to be born with such a voice, it's not like I wanted to talk in such a voice, it's not like I can control my voice.

Is it my fault that when I talk, my voice irritates you?
Do I want it?
If it annoys you so much, then don't talk to me.
I wont irritate you if I know my voice would.

Damnit.

It doesnt mean I dont have a limit when we joke and play all day.
It doesnt mean I can take everything every comments people give and act like I dont bother.
It doesnt mean you can shush me up everytime I talk. ( I know you think it's fun and you do it in a joking manner, but its not always fun for me )
And you do the talking on and on and on, and no one talks about it.

I know I'm not as smart as you, not as pretty as you, not as well-liked by teachers as you, or any way you can think of.

But so what, SO WHAT.

Laugh at me or mock at me for getting thirty plus for prelims, I dont give a damn.

You don't read my journal anyway. We'll just leave it like that.

I can understand, you're human and not God, God love me for who I am, what I am. He wouldn't laugh or criticize me for having a low voice.

When you fail to control your emotions,
You just keep crying.

 

I need a break from you
 

Haven't been posting for few days because I'm lazy to get on comp and I've been rather busy with Weiping stuffs.

On friday I was out with Weiping, Seeyi and Danica to catch the movie- The time travellers wife. Then they came to my house.

On saturday I was out with Weiping and Seeyi again. We wanted to go suntan, but it was raining. In the end we met up for lunch and came to my house to watch the dvds we rented- Final Destination and Titanic. Sigh Titanic is really sad, and that guy is really handsome, but too bad now he old and not good looking :/ He sacrificed for her D: Poor Jack. )':

On sunday I did not go service because Yppae had meeting at 10. I'm not going to skip anymore services if the meetings are on Sundays, I think it's rather not worth it. Esp with people making comments on my religion, just shut up will you. What, the meeting did not do much, I felt that it was a waste of time. Sorry. Then I went out with Weiping because that's her birthday. In the end we landed in Brenda's house talking and counting some retarded useless stuffs.

On monday I went for tuition from morning till noon. When back home and started cooking with my dad and Brenda, Then Weiping, Seeyi and Danica came over and we had dinner together. Played Cheat after our meal.

I had my Amath Paper2 today.

Tmr I'm having my Chinese lit paper.

I should go and study now.

Last Paper ! :D

 

Hi guys I've spent my entire day watching High School Musical One Two Three :D

Look if you're my friend, don't say anything about it.

Anyway I was just randomly browsing, and I found out there's hsm4 !?

Isnt that awesome. HAHAHA.

I'm acting like a kid.

So basically I've screwed all my papers this week. My careless mistakes are in gallons. It's okay I shall learn from mistakes and do well :D


Then I realised,

Hello I think I just wasted my one week hols on Chem despite I did try my best to understand and fall in love with it. Chemistry paper's so irritating, I only realised I had a thousand careless mcq. You tell me how can I pass with a B. It'll be a challenge to even pass Chemistry. Paper two was horrid, chose the organic chem question instead of electrolysis. Heard that that was easier than organic chem. Rar so screwed.

So there's AMath paper one and English paper two tmr. And HAHAHA,

Why dont I feel prepared.

Bio paper's on Wed, and HAHAHA I havent start on any chapters. Can you see how much effort I put in for Chem, and I hecked care Bio. Now I'm going fail terribly. Both, I think.

Yesterday was at the airport cos we went to fetch Zeeeebin. He looks the same, AHAHA. This person told us the wrong terminal. How great. Lucky the smart girl over there, which is me thankyou, went with the idea to see if there's any plane that has the same flight number and yay, we found it. Piffy called Zeebin's mom, HAHA. Anyway we arrived late, but his flight later than us. Lol. Supposed to meet Kanxy and Piffy at six thirty at airport, in the end I was late, so was Piffy. And HAHA I WENT ON TO THE SAME CABIN AS HER. SO QIAO.

Anyway I went to swim at the swimming complex opposite my house. Had sunburnt. Lol. And you know what, when I went, there was no girls. So I was the only female swimming. HAHA.

I think I'm going to sleep now because I am tired. I would most probably have muscle aches tomorrow.


There's only one end.

Mmm my present from Weijie turned out to be huge piglet. HA.

I tell you, he was being plain retarded and stupid by standing beside me and standing upright. It's not right to be proud even if you are tall. Get it, tall people. HAHAHA. Ohyah, so tuition was as pernomal, I do my sarcastic comments on him as usual :D He can never win. Talked to him online and haha openly said that we dont like each other (: We just cant get along ( in terms of bgr ), I think I'll just get jealous and pissed any moment, cos he treats all the girls the same, so Flirt.

Hahaha went to Tls for some quick chem revision before going over to Qin's house for tuition. Haha. Afterthat went to century sq to buy my bag. HAHA it looks not bad. So do not comment on it tyvm. Lol.

Yesterday I was talking to Weiping online cos I asked her to fill in about 2pm thing. Wahlau. Those people are being idiotic and dont know what. Ic annot find a good word to describe man. Just to let you guys know, I like Jaebeom and Taec :D So cute and awesome. But then now he not there :/ I'm sure he'll be back, someday <3

I HAVENT START MY REVISION ON BIOLOGY AND THE PAPERS ARE ON WEDNESDAY.

I'm trying to learn my dialect now, so bear with me if you hear it okay.

By the way, the title on top means,

Say people, say yourself.

AHAHAHAHA, how interesting can this get ! It's getting more and more fun.


I guess I'm ready to let you go,